Rich Wisken was niet tevreden over zijn Jetstar vlucht van Perth naar Sydney. Hij zat naast een onfris iemand met zwaar overgewicht. Er waren plaatsen genoeg in het vliegtuig, maar de stewardessen wilden hem niet op een andere plek zetten. Een paar quotes uit de brief:
Dear Customer Relations,
Do you like riddles? I do, that’s why I’m starting this letter with one.
What weighs more than a Suzuki Swift, less than a Hummer and smells like the decaying anus of a deceased homeless man?
That’s right, it’s the man I sat next to (or to be accurate, under) from Perth to Sydney yesterday!
As I boarded the plane, I mentally high-fived myself for paying the additional $25 for an emergency seat. I was imagining all that extra room, when I was suddenly distracted by what appeared to be an infant hippopotamus located halfway down the aisle.
His scent possessed hints of blue cheese and Mumbai slum, with nuances of sweaty flesh and human faeces sprayed with cologne – ‘Eau No’. Considering I was visibly under duress, I found it strange that none of the cabin crew offered me another seat.
I politely ask the cabin crew to be seated elsewhere. I didn’t catch the names of the three flight attendants, but for the purpose of this letter, I’ll call them: Chatty 1, Chatty 2 and Giggly (I’ve given them all the same surname – Couldnotgiveashit). After my request, Chatty 1 and Chatty 2 continued their conversation, presumably about how shit they are at their jobs, and Giggly, well, she just giggled.
I then asked if I could sit in one of the six vacant seats at the back of the aircraft, to which Giggly responded, “Hehehe, they’re for crew only, hehehe”.
I tried to relocate myself without the assistance of the Couldnotgiveashit triplets, but unfortunately everyone with a row to themselves was now lying down. It was then I realised that my fate was sealed.
Lees de hele brief hier.